THE LEANING POST

I wish for everyone of you  to have that perfect leaning post. A place where you can rest your thoughts and get encouragement. A place where you know is always there to keep you standing and to help keep you strong. But remember that leaning post may not be just for you. That leaning post may be for many people. I hope that that leaning post stays strong to always be there because one day that leaning post may not be there. It has fell over. It didn't have a leaning post to lean on. If we all be a leaning post for another then we can keep each other strong.

What kind of leaning post are you?

ME

I cant always be strong when i'm leaned upon. I cant always be happy when someone needs a lift. I cant always let out or reign in my emotions when its the appropriate time. I cant always be anything but Tonya. I'm OK with it. Are you?

PARTY OF ONE

All the emotions flow through me like a faucet. The only problem is that i don't have an on/off button. I know moments where i shouldn't feel a certain way or i should feel something and i don't. today isn't the first day this has happened. I am angry, sad, disappointed, and on the other side i feel very clear about things. Maybe i shouldn't be angry but i am. I've been let down. Wanna know what it feels like to hope for something and then when you get so close and so happy and so excited then its like..sorry Tonya..just kidding ...you don't get any of those feelings and experiences. I will be ok with it all. I always am.And here's my pity party...it happens to me alot so i get used to it. So now that my pity was a party of one i will get over it and though it. I always do. So tomorrow its time to think of the present and my future and let go of the past. I'm ready to be happy and look forward to something that's concrete. Just living day by day and being happy about the small things. I'm ready to wake up tomorrow.

APPRECIATION

Being taught to appreciate who really matters is a toughy. You just need to remember who and who doesn't have your best interest. I think its a lesson to have to learn several times in ones life. Just remember, don't waste your time on those who do not really want to be in your life and focus on those who do!

MORNINGS

As i sit here on my couch with all the windows open... i just sit and listen. I hear the birds, others across the street, and my own voice in my head. These moments i take the time to reflect on my life. My successes and my failures. The things in my life that are wonderful and those that i need to work on. I enjoy these moments. They happen about once a week or so and i love every minute of them. Whether you look at your failures and figure out how you can make them better or you reflect on the wonderful things you have that are positive...its still an amazing moment before you start your day. Take time for yourself. Take those minutes to encourage yourself and the day ahead of you. Today is the start of an amazing day! Lets live it!

COURTESY CARE

Are you really that fake? So fake that everyone who talks to you laughs when you walk away. Do you not know that people don't like you? You must be so self absorbed that you cant see that you are not a pleasure to be around? I wish people would just be real. Why be fake? Why be something you're not? Why try to be someone else or have someone elses experiences. BE YOURSELF! At least you would be seen as real.
Oh and while I'm complaining...I'm tired of takers. People who take, take, take and never give or if they do its only because they know they are takers and feel its the right thing to do to give a bit. I just rather you be on your way and not ask  since its only a courtesy care. I'm over it and you.

ACTUALITY

You know you cannot change someone even if you wanted to.  We are all made so differently. We all have positives and negatives to us. NO ONE IS EVEN CLOSE TO PERFECTION!  We try our hardest to get someone to see from our opinion or change them to what you know and are. We all need to learn to accept and understand that no matter how hard we try, people will only change if they wish and if its their idea to do so. Theirs nothing wrong with setting a standard in which to live by but understand its not others standard. ITS YOUR OWN! I do believe that if we can realize that we are not perfect or right all the time or that what we think is the best choice and open our minds to someone else i really do believe that that teaches you to grow. Not only in love relationships like boyfriends, girlfriends, marriage partners.....I'm talking about all people. You all add to my life and i add to yours. Whether not you accept that or not its reality. I'm all for saying...if you don't like me for who i am than go away, but remember this...are you "go away" material. As Ice Cube would say...."Check yourself before you wreck yourself".